Where to look?

We all know that there is no point in looking for something we have lost, at a different place from where we lost it, just because the lighting is better or the environment is friendlier there. People make jokes about drunks who do just that. And yet many of us, while perfectly sober, very often do the same! We do that unwittingly, regarding our happiness, our fulfillment and joy of life. Many are still looking for it on the outside, while the search can only be fruitful if we look inside ourselves.

We all have whatever is needed to be happy. The problem is that we block the very ingredients to make our happiness come to the fore and be fully perceived and enjoyed. We block them with our preconceived ideas and wrong beliefs; with our willingness to blame others and fate for any mishap that may manifest in our lives. If happiness is buried under some psychic boulders, we have to remove them to allow happiness to blossom and glow.

What are those obstacles to happiness that dwell in our minds and psyche? They have different names and forms, like fear, low self esteem, perfectionism, pride, obstinacy, to name just a few.

How do we remove those obstacles? The first step is to do a thorough introspective work, a confrontation of the self, to become aware and acknowledge the presence of any such negativity in ourselves. The next step is to find out why we developed such traits. The reason is usually some immature conclusions and choice of strategies to supposedly protect ourselves from painful circumstances in our childhood. These immature conclusions become rooted beliefs in our psyche, which tend to be later repressed to unconscious levels. From those nebulous depths, however, they keep influencing and conditioning our behavior and feelings, even in adult life. They must be identified and transformed. They are the boulders hiding and obstructing our happiness.

Happiness does not depend on outer circumstances or other people. But many people still believe that outer circumstances have to fit their wishes so that happiness can follow. In reality, it happens exactly the other way around. It is only when you have inner harmony and experience happiness within yourself that your outer life will reflect that state and you will experience happiness in your outer life as well. (Pathwork Lecture #11)

So, next time you think of your life and how happily or unhappily it has been unfolding, don’t look at the outer circumstances to find out what could make you happier. It may seem easier and more comfortable to look for happiness outside, but you will never find it there. Look inside instead. No matter how harder and uncomfortable this area of search may be, it is the only place where you can find what you will be looking for.

Gustavo Monteiro

December 2015