1-416-561-5780Lecture # 50 describes the vicious circles that are formed in our personalities, deriving from our initial childish and immature demand to receive absolute and exclusive love and attention from our parents.
Those vicious circles are summarized in the following picture.
It is your work on this path to find these circles within yourself, to experience them, particularly as to where, how, and in respect to whom they live within you. All this has to become a personal experience before you can really break these vicious circles.
It may facilitate your analysis if you consider how you may be possibly punishing yourself (unconsciously).
The personality inflicts punishment on itself. This may happen in various ways, either by physical disease that the psyche produces, or by various mishaps, difficulties, failures, or conflicts in any area of life. In each case the area affected depends on the personal image the child has formed and carried around during this lifetime until it is found and eventually dissolved. Thus, if an image exists regarding profession and career, for instance, it will be fortified by the inherent desire for self punishment; difficulties in this respect will constantly arise in the person’s life. Or, if an image connected to love and marital life exists, the same pattern will hold true there.
As a clue to where you may have been punishing yourself, consider an area in your life in which you have not achieved the success you expected. Succinctly describe your goals/expectations in this area and why do you think you have not been able to match your own expectations.