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The ability to experience feelings is synonymous with the ability to give and receive happiness. To the extent that you avoid any kind of emotional experience, you also close the door to feeling happiness.
Emotions and feelings are like a pendulum. If you suppress negative feelings, you will also suppress positive ones. Immature emotions lead to unhappiness. Thus, the child learns to repress them. By suppressing negative emotions, we also suppress positive ones. This leads to emotional numbness and, therefore, to a deficient personality.
Trial and error is a much more accepted process of learning and development when it comes to the physical and mental aspects. But not so much for emotional growth.
If you did not grow emotionally as a child, you will have to do so now, as an adult. Otherwise, your personality will remain deficient. Therefore, be tolerant of your emotions, even if they seem immature to your more developed adult mind. Let these emotions flow, let them be felt and given expression in an appropriate way, with a purpose. This means that you must express your emotions in a way that will not hurt others, but at the same time gives you full recognition of their existence.
Since the expression of immature emotions leads to unhappiness, we learn to suppress them and often superimpose them on the very feelings we think we should have. By doing so, we impede the flow of true feelings, ignore what lies beneath, and therefore impede our emotional growth.
To allow emotional growth to occur, we must feel the pain of our wounds, even if it awakens immature emotions. This is necessary in order to properly assimilate each emotional experience.
What has not been properly assimilated as an emotional experience because it has been constantly repressed will be reactivated by current situations. These situations will remind you, in one way or another, of the unassimilated experience. Such a reminder may not be factual. It may be an emotional climate, a symbolic association that is lodged exclusively in the subconscious. As you become more aware of what is really going on inside you, you will also begin to notice these reminders. Learn to read these signals. Pay attention to the “emotional climate” and the symbolic clues (which lead to unassimilated emotions) that reside in the unconscious.
The emotional side of your nature, when functioning, has creative capacity. To the extent that you close yourself off to emotional experiences, to the same extent the potential of your creative capacity will be prevented from manifesting.
As long as you remain emotionally immature, you will not be able to trust your intuitive processes, you will be insecure and lacking in self-confidence. You may try to compensate for this by becoming dependent on others, or on some false religion. This will make you weak and helpless. But if you have mature and intense emotions, you will trust yourself and find a security that you never dreamed existed.
So build your true security. You have nothing to fear from becoming aware of what is already within you. Looking away from what is will not make it cease to exist. Therefore, it is wise of you to want to look, face and recognize what is in you – no more and no less!
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