Exercise 12: Letting go of the Idealized Self-Image

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Integrity is the coherence among one’s thoughts, actions, principles and values. When we betray our values by means of our thoughts and/or actions, we experience a breach of integrity, which causes unrest and unhappiness.

Have you ever felt uneasiness and discomfort for having acted in a way that was not in accordance with your principles and values, because you considered it more important at the time to please, or avoid conflict with someone? Note some cases where this happened, relating the values that have been relegated. Did you regret the decisions or actions taken in such cases?

Would you be able to overcome the temptation to override your values and principles to please, or to avoid conflict with someone? For the cases noted in the previous item, consider what might cause you the most uneasiness and annoyance:

♦ TFacing some conflict for displeasing and disagreeing with someone; or

♦ Countering your principles to avoid conflict?

Next time you are confronted with the dilemma of acting according to your principles and values, possibly facing a conflict, as opposed to compromising to please and avoid conflict, would you be willing to pursue the first alternative? Do you think you might ultimately feel better with that approach?

Sustaining an idealized self-image is a very heavy

burden, which exhausts our energies.

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_____ Illustration by Mordecai Gerstein _____